id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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