drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
