those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
