There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
