Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
i think we sleep fucked last night...
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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