I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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