p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
he fucked my hip out of place.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
