You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
You work out of a Hotel?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
