i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Randomize
