VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
