There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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