In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
