in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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