3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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