i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
