just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
