Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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