Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
