why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
i out mim tonsoeep
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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