I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
