I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
