So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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