i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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