I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
