Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
