Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
