i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
its not stalking. its research.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Randomize
