shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Ladies don't puke and tell
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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