I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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