hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Randomize
