come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
