I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
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