Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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