we're chasing vodka with high fives
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
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