I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
