I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
