That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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