I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
