I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
You pole danced in your parka.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
