Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
