It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We need to get me chipped asap
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
