Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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