So drunk, too bad you don't want this
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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