You work out of a Hotel?
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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