my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
she peed on how many people?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Randomize
