I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
