Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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