Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
