can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
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