This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
