My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Still dying that you shit outside
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
